I recently came across a video by ‘Battabox Nigeria’ where women in Lagos were asked how many boyfriends they had. The consensus was that most single women especially those in university had a minimum of two boyfriends at any given time. It appeared that many of these young women had a man for multiple life needs and they did not find this arrangement to be problematic. I found this to be startling because I assumed that the word ‘boyfriend’ suggested an element of exclusivity but I was proven wrong after I asked, searched and enquired.
No Ring No Ting
Do you recall my article on hymen certificates? If you missed it, read it here. It appears that if there is no significant commitment such as an intent to marry, then women and even men feel everyone is fair game. I recently heard a male preacher who advocates for purity discuss how he decided to propose to his wife. He explained that though he and his wife had been courting for about a year, there was another woman he was considering to be his wife. However, ‘The Spirit’ led him to buy a ring for his now wife instead, and he proposed. So my question is, was he dating two women at the same time; and is there wisdom in that? Does that make options readily available? Is it possible to juggle multiple relationships without breaking someones heart eventually?
Dating is not a commitment
This subject creates a lot of conflicts. Is dating supposed to be treated as an exclusive process, or is a woman expected to date as many men as she wants then decide? I have heard several older women say ‘a woman should always date many people’. When I have asked them why, they say ‘just to get experience’, ‘to see what’s out there’. I suppose that is great if you’re living the life and having fun, but if you’re intentional about God choosing a marriage partner for you, how do both things merge?
What’s your number
Does the total number of boyfriends actually matter? Why is it relevant in the long run? According to ‘the Telegraph’, the average British woman will kiss 15 men, be in two long-term relationships, suffer heartbreak twice, have two blind dates and two dates with someone from the Internet, have four one-night stands and seven sexual partners before she is married. What do you think, are these numbers similar to a reality that you have encountered? Do numbers matter? If they do, how do you keep them low? If numbers don’t matter; why are we surprised when women choose to run their lives with several boyfriends at once. After all, being found by the one is not an easy task, or is marriage possible without dating like we discussed here.
Over to you
What do you think? Are the statistics above inflated or representative of your local society? Is it ok for men and women to date multiple people at the same time? Is marriage the only exclusive relationship you recognise? Who makes the rules?
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Image Credit; Henry Lee Battle