I recently had a chance to watch “Far from the madding crowd” a 2015 adaptation of the book of the same title by Thomas Hardy. I was aware that it was a coming of age story of ‘Bathsheba’ who inherited a large farm from a loving uncle. Throughout the story, it is evident that Bathsheba is an intelligent, independent and strong-willed young woman. She made the error too many women make when choosing whom to love. Yes, I said it, love is a choice!
The Wrong Choice
I am coming to find that many times, the ‘wrong one’ is not always clear and evident. We are often able to identify the bad boy from a distance, ‘the one who is bad news’ often has huge warning signs on his forehead saying to the wise ‘do not approach’. However, what about the ones that ‘are not so bad’ the one that brings lust with him. The one that makes a previously unassuming woman awaken. Suddenly, Bathsheba felt like a woman, in the arms of Troy, and when the word of warning came, she ignored it. She married Troy. Was it a mistake? Only if she didn’t learn from it.
The Wronged Man
Mr Boldwood was a calm and reserved man. Bathsheba sent him a valentine card that awakened his desires. Bathsheba had no intention of being with Mr Blodwen, in her opinion, she did not lead him on. Although, it was evident by Bathsheba’s interactions with him that she passively permitted him to believe that there was hope. His hope was his undoing, and it brought her more grief than she expected. Placing someone in the friend zone instead of being upfront and honest is simply deceit.
The Good Man
Bathsheba said something that I have heard many young women say. She said; “I’m too independent. You’d never be able to tame me.” Gabriel was a good man, who wanted Bathsheba. He wanted her as his wife, and he told her.
Why don’t men do that anymore, they simply dance around the subject? Bathsheba acknowledged the importance of having Gabriel in her life but rejected him when she had no suitors, again when she had many, but at the end of her suffering, realised that good men, not women were, in fact, harder to find.
Bathsheba proved to be similar to her Biblical counterpart in her ability to woo the opposite sex. In her awareness of caution, she still carelessly gave away her time, heart and love to someone who was undeserving. Hindsight is great, but what about foresight? When do we listen to the instructions and guidance of others were matters of the heart are involved? Gabriel was the logical choice as he was steady and loved her. However, if she chose to marry him initially, would that have appeared as her ‘settling’? We have previously discussed unrequited love, does that have to be part of everyone’s love story? Is there always someone who wants us that we ignore or are unaware of? When do we make the decision to place intelligent decisions above fleeting desires; when we have been once beaten or twice shy?
Until next time! Dami is still thinking.
The play on words; ‘let no man steal your thyme’ is the song title from the soundtrack, enjoy the melody found on YouTube below!