Sharing is how we feel connected. It is how we know that we are not alone in this big scary world. Sharing our stories is our way of testifying, and that is how we overcome adversity. It provides someone else comfort in their storm. I recently read Frances Okoro write about her abortions and the backlash she received from her family as a result. It caused me to ponder on the two-edged sword that comes with sharing and how it affects women in particular. (more…)

I recently realised something about failure that I had never previously understood, and that was the part of acceptance. I have often been one to try to understand the reason behind the failing, or to dissect the episode thoroughly until I find the fault. However, I have been finding, that failure is a necessary part of life and growth. I recall about two years ago when I received some feedback that made me cry for days, I spoke to my brother about it; and he said to me; ‘So?’. He asked me why I thought the feedback was such a problem, and why I had allowed it to affect me so much that I wanted to hide in a corner and run away from my life. He doesn’t know it, but his attitude that day helped me to see things in a different light. (more…)

Naysayer- a person who habitually expresses negative or pessimistic views: Despite a general feeling that things were going well – urban dictionary[/caption]

There are many times in life when we find ourselves stuck between a rock and a hard place. Between pursuing our dreams and standing back in the shadows. Then there are those who come into our lives for the sole purpose of antagonising our dreams. Sometimes they do so out of jealousy. Other times, they do so out of fear. They are afraid that we may fail, that we may regret our decisions, that we are on the wrong path. However we must remember, that we were born alone, our vision was given to us alone, and those that take bold steps often do so alone. So here are five easy steps on how to deal with naysayers when you know what your purpose is.

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Tell them I’m still here
Tell them that I am still breathing
Tell them that I still fear
Yet my feet are still moving

Tell them you did not find me there
lost among the shadows
Tell them the vacuum did not overtake me
Tell them I did not dwell there

Tell them I smiled at you
though the sorrow was scorching
it did not steal my my joy
Tell them that I’m still laughing

Tell them when you return
that you saw me struggling
You saw me stretching and yearning
Tell them I did not give up

Tell them I know what my blood smells and tastes like
Tell them blood does not frighten me
Tell them death came and did not kill me
Go ahead. Tell them

-damiloves

Thank you to those of you who have supported this blog over the past few months. When I released my welcome post, I did not forsee this milestone. I did not think I would have reached it so soon either. This blog was birthed in a moment of courage after years of fear, a step of faith made against the anxiety fear had always managed to stimulate. Let me tell you something about my most recent journey with fear.

I recently made a visit to Nirvana Spa in Reading. One of the attractions at the spa is the celestial flotation pool. Benefits of this pool include healing, relaxation and tranquility. Due to the high concentration of salts in the water, all persons once relaxed are able to float with no effort whatsoever. You enter in, relax and float. However, I did not float; instead I came close to death and experienced the fear that comes when drowning is imminent. I needed to be rescued by staff.

Due to my experience other members of the party were weary, and I was disheartened. The option to try again was present, yet fear filled my heart. Fear of the unknown, fear of drowning, fear of my inability to relax and let go. The therapist said to me over and over again, “relax, let go, the water and salts will lift you.” Yet there I was hindered and unable to relish in what was supposed to be an unforgettable experience. (more…)