I had a conversation with a friend a while back about deal breakers in relationships. According to her, everyone needed to have their deal breakers written down clearly with a plan not to deviate from them. We had been at an event, and she scanned the room searching for someone that would catch her eye. However, before even speaking to the people present she determined that the room full of bachelors was empty as far as she was concerned. One was too short, the other was ugly, another had a bad accent, one was wearing an ugly sweater; the list went on, and she is still single, I wonder why?

Now I suppose deal breakers are necessary, but where do we draw the line? When do we ignore negative character traits and focus on the positive aspects of the person? Now when I say deal breakers I mean things about a person that cannot be changed or that’ll need a higher power to manoeuvre. You guys recall that attempting to change another human being is futile; hence the adapt or die pattern many of us assume. So these deal breakers are not unrealistic, they are important and ingrained into the very fabric of who a person is. Things like how much money he makes, his height, his state of origin are not on the cards. However, his dress sense, where he lives and the car he drives are not going to be discussed either, because let’s face it, those things are easily modified without changing the person. So what are we talking about? Stick around (more…)

If you haven’t seen the foreverduncan hashtag, where have you been? African American women have been raving about this for the past week, so much so that African women worldwide have joined in the frenzy. #foreverduncan is the tag that has followed Alfred Duncan, who proposed to his girlfriend Sherrell at noon and surprised her with a wedding at 6pm on the same day. Videos of their union spread over the internet like wild fire, you can see Sherrell crying tears of joy as she is overwhelmed with emotion. Yes, I admit I was one of the women who watched the video in awe and admiration, that was before the memes started overflowing. When the memes arrived, I had to laugh because let’s face it, men of African and Caribbean descent have had a tough time proving their manhood. (more…)