I had a conversation with a friend a while back about deal breakers in relationships. According to her, everyone needed to have their deal breakers written down clearly with a plan not to deviate from them. We had been at an event, and she scanned the room searching for someone that would catch her eye. However, before even speaking to the people present she determined that the room full of bachelors was empty as far as she was concerned. One was too short, the other was ugly, another had a bad accent, one was wearing an ugly sweater; the list went on, and she is still single, I wonder why?

Now I suppose deal breakers are necessary, but where do we draw the line? When do we ignore negative character traits and focus on the positive aspects of the person? Now when I say deal breakers I mean things about a person that cannot be changed or that’ll need a higher power to manoeuvre. You guys recall that attempting to change another human being is futile; hence the adapt or die pattern many of us assume. So these deal breakers are not unrealistic, they are important and ingrained into the very fabric of who a person is. Things like how much money he makes, his height, his state of origin are not on the cards. However, his dress sense, where he lives and the car he drives are not going to be discussed either, because let’s face it, those things are easily modified without changing the person. So what are we talking about? Stick around (more…)

I know he loves you. I know that is what he said, I know he claimed he would give the world to you. I know that is what you felt. I know your mother took it too, abuse in another form. I know they said men are cruel, I know you listened when the elders whispered. I know your skin is not made of wood, I know your bones are not made of steel. I know your heart is a soft haven, it was never made of stone. I know you want to be strong, I know you want to make it work. But I also know that dying before your time is not and will never be a sign of strength. (more…)

Domestic abuse is a world wide phenomenon. Both men and women suffer, though more light is shed upon the abuse of women because they are the most susceptible victims. It is interesting that the average human being does not believe abuse is right, yet when faced with the situation many of us respond in an unexpected way. I was 12 and he was 12, we were in boarding school and I promise you, I did not see the slap coming. I wasn’t dazed, I just wanted to fight back, but I didn’t have that opportunity. Over the years, many people have said that it is forgivable for a 2 year old as he doesn’t know better, but a 12 year old should have. But what about a 30 year old.

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