A few weeks ago it was my birthday, and I got a rather strange text message from an unexpected member of my extended family. After extending me the generic birthday greetings, she went on to write; ‘I am expecting a wedding invite’. Seeing as no one has taken yams or wine to my parents, I knew it was another; ‘when will you marry’ question, reformatted. I was like;
I was not expecting that; it seemed like an unnecessary statement from someone I did not communicate with on a regular basis. An encyclopaedia should be written about marriage and the Nigerian female. When a young lady is in school, she is advised to ‘face her studies,’ apparently, all men are a distraction. However, upon graduation from higher education, it is expected that she present her husband-to-be to her family. My question is this, where exactly is said female supposed to find such a fellow?
I was initially going to write on the perplexing reasoning behind that question. However, I have decided to take a different angle. Let us face it, marriage, when done well, is beautiful. So if you have a loved one that, you have been asking ‘when will you marry?’ Why don’t you follow the helpline below and assist them to get married.
Here is Dami’s 5 step guide to helping your loved one marry.
1. Pray for them
I can not stress this enough. If more people prayed than they spoke or asked questions, the world witll be a better place. Pray that God will bless your loved one with a good and prudent spouse. That they will be blessed with a spouse that loves and yearns after God. That they will fall in love with someone who can walk in purpose along with them.
2. Ask if they want to get married
This might be a strange question. However, it is important, and if you have prayed, you will be bold to take this step. Ask them if they have a desire for marriage, and if they do, let them know that you are praying for them. If they do not, respect that and leave it here. If you feel that marriage will be a blessing to them, pray for them, but do not antagonise the person with your questions. You may not know their reason for wanting to remain single. After all, one mans meat is another’s poison.
3. Encourage them
Some people just need a little encouragement. Remind them that nothing is wrong with them. Be kind, many times, when people ask; ‘when will you marry?’ It sounds spiteful though it may be coming from a place of love. Your encouragement may also take the form of advice, if solicited. However be careful, some people may feel you are overstepping if you take this step too far.
4. Set them up
Yes, I said it. What kind of neighbour tells me to buy a cube of sugar when they have spares and excess in their pantry. If you know of someone that your loved one may get along with and develop a positive relationship with please by all means introduce them to each other. Please note that is all you need to do, if things do not work out do not take it personally. If things blossom well, do not claim ownership of the relationship, after all, you are not God.
5. It is not by force!
People do not need to marry on your timeline. I acknowledge that there are universally accepted times for things to happen, yet I realise that Gods time is still the best, whether it appears late or early. So brethren, do not let your loved one run into the house of an abattoir husband because she is trying to please family, and running against her biological clock.
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There you have it, Dami’s 5 step guide to helping your loved one marry!
I was sent the song below by a friend would knew I would enjoy it, I am happy to see that men are also dealing with some of the pressure as well! I hope you enjoy the song!
Until next time! Dami loves to chat
P.S. Did you notice that I love the sticker from ‘Afro-Emoji’! Check out the App, it’s remarkable.