image credit; restored Edwin Lester

image credit; restored Edwin Lester

Several weeks ago, Brelyn and Timothy became ‘the Bowman’s’. They are two young christians who fell in love and had saved themselves for marriage. The only reason we are talking about them in this post is because Brelyn presented her father with a certificate of purity. She visited a doctor who confirmed that she was still a virgin and that she had kept the promise she had made to her father several years ago. Sound surprising? Yes. Not because she was a virgin but because she openly presented him with a certificate acknowledging that she kept her promise. I had initially assumed that this was rather unnecessary. However, I see that she did this to honour her father. However, her action got me thinking about purity, how we define it and what it means for the 21st-century church.

I recently read an article by Frances Okoro where she discussed her reason for choosing not to kiss before marriage. It is not so surprising, as Heather Lindsey leads the ‘Pinky Promise Movement’. Heather and her husband decided not to kiss until their wedding day as a way of maintaining purity during courtship. To many the decision not kiss before marriage is a difficult one. It appears too stringent and unrealistic in the modern dating world. However, the rules that govern no kissing before marriage surpasses the absence of kissing. It also includes; no hugging, no cuddling, no massages, no sexting, no sex of any kind, no time spent together at night, more time spent in groups than alone, the involvement of family and church leaders in courtship from day one. The logic is this; if it can be sexual activity, it should not occur before marriage. For this reason, I choose Heather and Frances’s point of view over the hymen certificate. A purity Certificate is more appropriate. Herein lies my question, isn’t purity a state of mind as opposed to an action.

Purity starts from within. Regardless of what we say and do, if our hearts and minds are not pure, we are losing out on the purity war. Purity is not the absence of sex, but the presence of holiness and no certificate can prove devotion.

“But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death” James 1:14-15

Purity is not the absence of sex, but the presence of holiness Click To Tweet

Here is a link to the commitment contract, have a read of it and share what you think. Is there anything missing on that contract or is it accurate? Do we need a quality of heart contract, or indeed a content of mind contract instead? I congratulate Brelyn on her boldness and courage to stand firm in a world that will ridicule and mock you. When did you last stand firm for what you believe? Are you willing to refrain from kissing until marriage or do you draw the line at abstinence alone?

Until next time. Dami is still thinking