I recently realised something about failure that I had never previously understood, and that was the part of acceptance. I have often been one to try to understand the reason behind the failing, or to dissect the episode thoroughly until I find the fault. However, I have been finding, that failure is a necessary part of life and growth. I recall about two years ago when I received some feedback that made me cry for days, I spoke to my brother about it; and he said to me; ‘So?’. He asked me why I thought the feedback was such a problem, and why I had allowed it to affect me so much that I wanted to hide in a corner and run away from my life. He doesn’t know it, but his attitude that day helped me to see things in a different light.
Perfection is a flaw
Over the past week, I saw several online ‘memes’ about Stephen and Ayesha Curry that brought this subject home for me. The Curry’s are a Christian family, Stephen plays basketball for the Warriors and has always been vocal about his love for Jesus and his desire to live a Christ-like life. Last week, during a pivotal match against the Cleveland Cavaliers, Curry lost his temper as his team lost. He spoke harshly and threw out his mouthpiece, which hit a fan inadvertently. Curry was fined due to his behaviour. Christians everywhere began producing memes attacking Curry’s character. They expressed displeasure at his actions; they were disappointed.
No Hiding Place
There is no hiding place when we fail. When our character flaws present themselves and expose us all over again. There is no place to seek comfort when we do not live up to the expectations we set for ourselves. We disappoint ourselves, or friends, our supporters and sometimes we feel like we have disappointed God. As a result of this, we desire to hide. But in avoiding failure and criticism, we welcome it. Avoiding failure means not trying for anything great, and isn’t that a flaw. Perhaps failure is just a reminder that our strength is not enough, I think failure is a great reminder of our humanity and mortality.
Many times, we choose then proceed to compare ourselves to others. Or others do the same thing for us. I have found myself telling people who they ought to compare me to in an attempt to look like less of a failure. I say why don’t you compare me to someone who is on my level. However, that is not true; no one is on your level because your race in life is unique to you just like your fingerprint.
Cornelius Lindsey said; ‘Comparison is despising God for the miracle it took to get you to where you are today’.
When I heard him say that, something struck within me. I realised that each time we can make one step forward, it could very well have taken a host of angels to get us that far. Remember the article on silent victories?
I do not know whether this is a female issue. Just like my brother reacted that day, I found male colleagues to have the same attitude to setbacks. They seem to see it as a stepping stone or a none issue. I have found that female counterparts are however more inclined to ruminate and dwell on the issue, creating a mountain out of a molehill in the process. I still do not understand the reason for that. Is it because we are emotional beings?
Stephen Curry has not buried his head in the sand like an Ostrich. Instead, his social media platforms are still active, and he is still thanking God for the opportunity to play in the NBA. Is that an attitude we ought to emulate? How do we accept failure and move on? How do we take being knocked down without becoming knocked out? What are your steps to dealing with failure and rejection? Do you have a failure-proof life? And if so, share some of your secrets below!
Hate it or love it, leave a comment below. You know Dami loves to chat.
Until next time
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