Recently, I had a conversation wth a friend on the difference between vulnerability and being needy. The point was raised that women who try not to be needy inadvertently create walls that prevent them from being vulnerable in relationships. The other party in this conversation stated that modern women and feminists were so independent, that vulnerability in relationships did not exist. I thought that statement was biassed, I listened silently and desperately wanted to search for the definition of vulnerability. When I had an opportunity to explore, this is what I found.
The merriam-webster online dictionary defines Vulnerability as ‘being capable of being physically or emotionally wounded’
Reading those words in black and white, I was not certain of whether or not I wanted to propagate those feelings to others. Vulnerability is something that many women have been taught to avoid. They have been advised to protect their hearts and minds from the wolves of the world. Do you remember when I spoke of this on the article; let no man steal your thyme? You can read it here .
When reading those words, vulnerability appears to be a preposterous construct. Why would you want to be so open and exposed to someone, giving them the opportunity to hurt you? Why would you want your friends to know you so well that they will hold the power to destroy you? I was asking all these questions when I read a beautiful open letter by ‘the naked poet’. She wrote it to her future bae. I realised by her writing that perhaps I had often focused on the negative aspects of vulnerability. Her letter was a reminder that true love is possible if we give it a chance. You can read her open letter here.
After reading her article, I began to consider the beauty that could exist when we open ourselves up to love and friendship. If we never allow anyone access to our deepest thoughts, and troubles, we will be bound to walk this lonely earth alone. Often, fear of heartbreak and appearing weak causes us to build up defences. I think vulnerability is not about being hurt, but instead, it is about letting go of our baggage so we love truly and completely. After all, being loved is a beautiful thing.fear of heartbreak and appearing weak causes us to build up defences Click To Tweet
What do you think? Are modern women prone to insecurity and fear in love and friendships? Is vulnerability always a desirable thing, or are we right to be cautious with our hearts?
Love it or hate it, do share your thoughts below. You know Dami loves to chat.
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