I have always championed women and our right to freedom, liberty and choice. However this past week, I began to consider an aspect of feminism that I had not reflected on before. Men and their rights. Hear me out, the entire concept of human rights stems from men and their choices. Their ability to choose and make a name for themselves is what created the world in which we live. Men were termed the ‘stronger’ sex because 4000 years ago we literarily needed them to go out to fight lions and bears to put a roof over our heads and food on our tables. 4000 years ago it was expected that a man harvests a forest and build a house with his bare hands. It was his responsibility to hunt then and kill a pig and bring that pig home so his wife could cook the bacon he will eat. In that age, the woman needed to stay at home, because the roles were clearly defined and to be fair it sounds like she got a fair deal. However, with the advent of modern science and industrial farming, I do not personally know a man who can farm a forest and build a house. Hunting for many men today implies shooting clay pigeons; as a result, the term ‘stronger sex’ is redundant.Hunting for men implies shooting clay pigeons; so the term 'stronger sex' is redundant. Click To Tweet
As women began to acknowledge that their roles were not limited to washing clothes and rearing babies, they began to speak out. They made demands, and some of those pleas fell on ears that heard. Enter modern day feminism where a woman is expected to be educated, where she ought to know how to fend for herself, and as I like to say if you don’t hustle you don’t eat. The role of a man then changed, he was not the provider for the woman, because she could take care of herself and her children. She did not need his roof or his bacon to get by, she had learnt the rules of the trade and was competent. The traditional skills of the old school man were no longer required, and men never got a memo.
Men never got the memo; they did not realise that women were changing, that is what some people say. However, I beg to differ. Men got the memo but only read half of it. Because in general, many men are happy when a woman does not ask for every single penny. Some men appreciate help in the big purchases like the mortgage, and school fees, while others detest the idea that a woman should contribute financially to the home. Many men will state that in their dating relationship, they do not want a woman who was dependent on them for money to buy tampons, chewing gum or top-up credit. Men, in general, want a woman who is still homely, a woman who remains the homemaker of 4000 years ago. However, what happens when the homemaker is the bread winner? Should the man not stand up to the plate and do the cooking, cleaning, washing and child rearing? Surely, something has to give?
Can’t take the Heat
When I saw the image above, I almost wanted to weep. The caption was brutally honest, too many men worldwide want that and are surprised to find women say, ‘no more’, ‘enough is enough’. Many men feel that it is ‘feminism’ that has caused this outcry. Feminism or not, I stand with the side that says no more. The men who have dished out such cruel punishment are unable to take the heat. Their fragile egos cannot take being left behind. They fail to take the oppression they administered when they were in charge.
Herein lies the problem. Modern feminism is not slowing down. Women are gain momentum. Like many changes in life, it is best to go with it than to go against it. To the men who insist their wives give up a career to stay at home, those days are coming to an end. Women are the breadwinners in many families, so is it time for men to become fully domesticated? To acknowledge that relationship is about compromise, sacrifice and shared responsibility.
We all need each other
I read a poem by PoeTolu a while ago, addressed at feminists. You can read it here; extreme feminism is a problem that could rapidly escalate to similar -isms, such as; racism, communism and so on. So how do we balance the situation? Understanding. Yes, everything I write often comes back to that simple yet complex word. Men need to understand and accept that the role of a woman is not written in stone, it is fluid, and because a female can multitask at several roles, it does not mean she has to. Humans are interdependent, we need each other, and society is not better without either sex. Men are not redundant in 2016, and women are not and never were the weaker vessel. Instead, humans are complex beings who thrive best in healthy and functional relationships.
What do you think? Do men feel alienated by the modern woman? Have men become emasculated by female success? If yes, who is to blame, the independent woman or the male ego? Do women need to play the role of breadwinner, homemaker and child-rearer? Is a man as homemaker such a terrible idea? Do you think modern feminism has gone too far, or is the movement just gaining momentum?
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Until next time
Image credit – gowomango.com